


match yourself in line

by supervisorhob (caughtinkhanded)



Series: things you said [4]
Category: The Black Tapes Podcast
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2017-12-31
Packaged: 2019-02-24 11:37:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13212930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caughtinkhanded/pseuds/supervisorhob
Summary: things you said after it was over;RS [9:18 PM]: Are you at your apartment? Can I stop by? I need to talk to you.AR {9:19 PM}: I will be in like 10 minutes. Is something up?Nothing good ever came from an "I need to talk."





	match yourself in line

**Author's Note:**

> takes place in some vague post season two universe
> 
> title from melody gardot's "bad news"

things you said after it was over;

 

Alex stared blankly at the bottle in front of her. It was some microbrew that Nic had insisted was the next great beer.

 

If she was being honest, it tasted like shit. But with Nic’s constantly cheerful eyes still focused on her, she managed a smile and forced out, “Pretty good. I’m just glad you’ve gotten over your peach schnapps faze.” Nic grinned happily before turning away to chat with one of the interns.

 

Alex felt the forced smile melt away, the bone deep tiredness making it nearly impossible for her to do anything. She numbly sipped at the beer, surveying the small group from the studio.

 

It was over. The world wasn’t going to end. Strand had been right in the end. It was all just a part of a few power hungry men’s attempt to seize power.

 

She and Strand had figured it out in time and the police had apprehended Thomas Warren before he could follow through.

 

However, in that 12 hour window where it had seemed so real, well, they used their potentially remaining hours wisely.

 

But the world hadn’t ended. And now Alex was standing in the break room, sipping at her beer, wishing she was anywhere but here.

 

Her phone buzzed in her pocket and she seized the opportunity to flee into the hallway.

 

_RS [9:18 PM]: Are you at your apartment? Can I stop by? I need to talk to you._

_AR {9:19 PM}: I will be in like 10 minutes. Is something up?_

Alex slipped back into the breakroom, making a beeline for Nic, who was evidently attempting to convince the interns that Star Trek was the superior franchise. He was midway through his “reboot” tirade when Alex cut in. “Hey, I’m gonna head out. I’m exhausted.” She thought that she sounded relatively convincing.

 

“Oh, right, yeah. The episode should be up first thing tomorrow morning.”

 

“Thanks, Nic.”

 

Swinging by her office to fetch her jacket, Alex braced herself for the biting chill of the Seattle February. The light of the street lamps glistened with the lingering frost on the ground. Alex shuffled along, burying her face in her scarf against the wind.

 

Her mind was utterly preoccupied with what Strand could possibly need to talk about that she walked home on autopilot. Nothing ever good came from an ‘I need to talk’.

 

A part of her wishes that she and Strand had never been stuck together in that motel room. But another part of her wishes that she was still there. It had been surprisingly easy. She wasn’t even sure which of them had initiated it, but there had been a sense of inevitability as they shared a meal in the small room.

 

Her skin tingled as she remembered the feel of Strand’s lips and hands caressing her. A smile lifted the corner of her mouth as she remembered Strand’s indigence at her teasing when she discovered the mark at the junction of her shoulder. ( _“Geez, Richard, are you 16? I don’t even remember the last time I had a hickey.” “Shut up, Alex, and come back to bed.” “Hmm, maybe you really are a 16-year-old?”_ )

 

She was so wrapped up in her memories that she failed to notice the figure in front of her building.

 

She jammed a hand in her pocket, searching for her key, eyes still focusing on the ground.

 

“Alex.” She practically jumped a foot in the air, her keys clattering to the ground. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.”

 

“Oh my god,” she breathed out, squeezing her eyes shut. “Hi.” She tugged her scarf away from her face, revealing a bright smile. The stress and nerves that had been building since they had parted ways the day before melted away at the sight of Strand in front of her.

 

He bent down deftly and then pressed her keys into her palm. His hands were so much warmer than hers.

 

“Hello, Alex.” He brushed an errant bit of hair away from her face, his fingers lingering on her cheek momentarily. His eyes were practically unreadable. They almost seemed sad, regretful. But she couldn’t figure out why. “Alex…” He began before trailing off.

 

Without hesitation, Alex pushed herself up to kiss him, resting one hand at the back of his neck. Before, their kisses had been desperate, hopeful; this kiss felt like something altogether more tragic.

 

She pulled away, her eyes remaining shut for a moment to savor it. When she opened her eyes, their faces still close, Strand’s face was stormy.

 

“What was that?”

 

“Goodbye,” she replied simply. “You’re leaving, aren’t you?” Alex pulled away, suddenly needing to be out of his reach. “I’m honestly surprised that you even came to say goodbye. I just assumed you’d be gone.” Alex had turned away to unlock her door, her voice full of false bravado.

 

“Do you really think so little of me, Alex?” Strand asked, lingering at her shoulder as Alex opened her door. He followed her into her apartment.

 

Alex refused to look at him. If she looked back at him, she would probably break to pieces. It was better this way. She had already seen this movie, already read the book.

 

He would apologize profusely about what had happened between them and then he would explain that he was leaving. He was always leaving her behind. She would probably spend the rest of her evening curled up on her couch with a glass of wine, trying desperately to forget Richard Strand.

 

Eventually, after a couple months, she would start to feel better and move on. But not tonight. Tonight, Alex Reagan would feel sorry for herself.

 

She set her jaw as she entered her kitchen, pointedly ignoring the man behind her.

 

“Alex, will you look at me?” Strand’s voice was sharp and desperate and it tugged at her heart. But then again, his voice had always done things to her. “Alex.”

 

“What?” She finally spat out, turning to face him. “I’m beyond tired. We just had a man arrested. We’ve finished with the Black Tapes. You’re free to go.” Alex found herself banging around her kitchen, searching for a coffee mug. “Can I get you something to drink?”

 

“Alex, stop it. We don’t need to do this.”

 

“I told you, you’re free to go.”

 

Alex jabbed at the button on her overly expensive, overly complicated coffee machine.

 

“Alex.”

 

“You can leave, Strand.” Alex bit at the inside of her cheek, exhaustion suddenly settling deep in her bones. Everything ached. Her very essence felt tired. She leaned against the counter, ignoring the jab of a handle in her hip.

 

“Alex.” Strand repeated, his tone soft, almost reverent. “I’m not leaving.” He reached out, the tips of his fingers brushing her jaw.

 

She finally lifted her gaze to his. “Then why-“

 

“I thought I was going to lose you today. I almost did lose you today. And you know what I realized?” His fingers splayed along her jaw, cupping her face gently. “I can’t do this without you. I’m not a particularly devout man.”

 

Alex scoffed slightly, a smile tugging at the corner of her lip. “That’s an understatement.”

 

“Alex, hush. I’m trying to be romantic here.” Strand’s brow creased as he stared down at her. “What I’m trying to say is, I think, no, I know I’m in love with you.”

 

There was a long moment of silence.

 

He hesitated, his eyes searching Alex’s face. He started to move away from her, to give her some space. Alex caught his hand though before he could get too far. “Oh you silly, stupid man.” Alex pressed her free hand to Strand’s chest, just above his heart. “I love you too.”

 

Alex surged forward eagerly, pressing her lips to his. She hummed happily as Strand moved closer.

 

When they pulled apart, foreheads touching, Alex let out a breathy laugh, “It’s over. It’s actually over.”  

**Author's Note:**

> i'm back on tbtp and in total denial of everything. it's great. 
> 
> come say hey @ frozenarya or supervisorhob
> 
> -ebh


End file.
